Say never

I think I'll Go to Boston, oh wait...here :)

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:36:27 GMT

Alright, days 1 and 2 of my trip have been amazing. Boston kicks ass in so many ways. This is a quick jot down but here goes:

1. No smoking in any public area
2. Huge city always something to do
3. Air, land and sea all in one view, amazing!
4. Sox and Celts, notta sports fan but the environment is very fun
5. Newberry street, way too expensive, but fun to walk around at
6. Strange Euro shops and a great bakery right next to Nate's house

Alright, that is enough for now.

I am going to post some photos on facebook instead of here, it takes less time!

Going to the beach now and possibly gay pride parade! whale watch tonight!

i love birds

Fri, 09 May 2008 02:08:42 GMT

i didn't mean to kill it. it flew in front of me. i hit it and it exploded. literally. it was so bizarre.

*********************************************************************************************

gabriel called me yesterday. it was nice to hear his english accent. it is new but i like it. i like how he absorbs the english of others since it isn't his first language. when i first met him he sounded australian because he lived there for 2 years. i miss him and maybe if he learns to brush his teeth on a twice-a-day basis and not wear brut deo we might could get somewhere. how shallow am i? he is terrific and terribly handsome but i can't see past the hygiene. i could never be in the peace corps. i don't feel like capitalizing 'i'. i need to do my workout that i 'oh so love'. i am sore though and i don't want to do it. haha.

Bikini Body Workout

Wed, 07 May 2008 03:32:34 GMT

Alright, I will be the first to admit... I am a DVD workout junkie :(. That is the only kind of work out I will do other than ride my bike. I just got a new one in and it was freaking amazing!!!!!! I felt like I was in dance classes all over again. You have to have a lot of coordination for this one and it felt like home. Anyway... I love how on Amazon you can rate the things you buy and create your "pen name" I am Zsófia from Budapest, Hungary, also known as "Sophie". It feels great to pretend sometimes.

I am upset because we can't find an English version or even a French version or any other language version w/ English sub titles to 4 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days. I want to see it so bad. It is set in communist Romania 1980s. This girl gets pregnant and has an illegal abortion with the help of her college mate. The dictator (not that cool, don't know his name) wouldn't allow abortions because he thought the larger the population the more power Romania would have, or at least aid from other countries. Central/almost Eastern Europe fascinates me so much. It is so strange to think that Gabriel lived in communist Hungary until he was 9. It is also strange to think that his parents lived under communist rule the majority of their lives. I wish I could have talked to his parents more. Their English was so limited and my Hungarian was only a few phrases. I also didn't know any German or I could've talked to his dad. His dad is a genius. Gabriel is just like me the youngest of the family that finds it hard to retain any information. Ha.

I hate my job yet I am doing things like this instead of looking for a new one. I suppose a job is just a job to me because I can't see past not wanting to be in the states. I am going to do it...whether it is this December or next I am moving to Australia unless I learn enough Spanish to get me to Buenos Aires, Argentina. I just asked my mom to go with me... she said she would think about it. Haha. I would love for it to happen. Oh no computer dying...gtg.

Tapes 'n Tapes

Sat, 03 May 2008 19:14:46 GMT

I went to see Tapes 'n Tapes on Wednesday for the second time. I still like The Loon better than Walk it Off but Walk it Off will eventually grow on me I am sure. So here are a few highlights:

* Went with my friend Ross who is really becoming a great friend. We have lots of the same music taste and he is very nice. The best thing about him, he isn't lazy. He is really up for whatever/whenever

* Ross and I met my friend Josh there. It is cool to see Josh because we have a book club together and don't actually see each other that often.

* Erik broke a string for the first time since the start of the tour. Josh said he hoped he didn't break a string because they would have the same style guitars and no one likes twinkies. Ha. Shortly after Josh broke a string.

* When Josh was getting his other guitar Matt tried to make idle conversation (matt is the love of my life for real, ha). He asked if anyone had any questions or comments about pretty much anything. Some jackass had the nerve to ask them to cover a few Neutral Milk Hotel songs. Lame.

* Someone asked Matt his fav Beatle and he forwarded this question onto Jeremy who in turn said George. Matt then asked the crowd for their fav Backstreet Boy. Then he proceeded to name everyone in The Backstreet Boys and NSynch. He is too cute <3!

* Omaha is still my fav one they do live. They pre record the keys and some of the drums and Matt plays the euph live. I just read an interview w/ Matt that said Omaha is kind of a joke because of all the Sattle Creek Kids loving Omaha. They were at a yeah yeah yeahs show and those kids were going crazy about Omaha, anyway....still a good song.

* I don't know why I do cheesy things like this but I got the set list. I didn't ask, they walked off stage so I leaned on stage and got Matt's list. Everyone else was asking Josh for his but he for some strange reason took it with him. Some guy called me a bitch for getting Matt's. It made me mad because that doesn't make me a bitch. It does, however, mean that he was too dumb and fat to lean up there and get Matt's himself.

That is all I suppose. More to come about life in general at a later date.

Set List:

Jakon
GM
Ruse
Time
Conquest
Head
Blunt
Drums
Toba
Cowbell
10
Houston
Ohmaha
Lines
Dirty
Insistor
Hang
Demons

qod 4-23-08

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:06:43 GMT

So I felt more passionate about this quote last night than I do today but I will post it anyway. I found a pocket book of quotations under my bed last night that has made me very happy.

Also, to deal with the horrible shit going on at work I made myself a picture album for my desk that has photos that make me happy. These include times when I was happy even if the person in the photo is never to be seen again. It lets me know that hey, I will be happy again!

QOD: Love is the business of the idle, but the idleness of the busy.

- Bulwer-Lytton, Rienzi

I would say it is business for me. Perhaps that is why I feel I fail so often. Business usually keeps you busy thus probability of failing is higher. I wish it was my idleness. Sometimes it is but as of late it has been business. I am tired of business in every way.

recollection of this week

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 01:46:46 GMT

This week Emma and I have been in ATL for work. I am here until tomorrow. Tomorrow we have a show that I am not that excited about. Hopefully it will pass by quickly.

Sunday- Woke up worked out, left for ATL, got to ATL and worked out again

Mon- Small show in Rollins Research Building, pretty good traffic. Visited two Operon clients. Monday night we went to the Sundial to eat. It is the highest building in ATL and it rotates on top so you can see the entire city. The food was kinda crappy and service was as well. The view wasn't that great bc of the Fog and Tornado damage. We did make the best out of it and had a pretty alright time.

Tues- Cold calls all day, not too fun, very nerve racking. Tuesday afternoon/night we went to L5P. I bought $160 worth of clothes/accessories. Shame on me! However the blue vintage dress I bought is beautiful! The neckline is amazing and fits my boobs just right! Woohoo! We then went to the Sweet Lime to eat. We proceeded to drink a little too much. I spilled my drink on Emma, it was very embarrassing! That was more of me being clumsy than drunk but they guys beside us thought I was trashed. They called their friends and told them that two cute girls were a little drunk and we were all having a good time so they should come hang out. We left shortly after, Emma was okay to drive... I wasn't. I must admit, those were the strongest 3 Martinis I have ever had! We had a blast though. She and I are peas in a pod. I hope she doesn't leave me but chances are she has another job :(. We like the genre of same things but not exactly so we help broaden each other's horizon...which is amazing!

Today- Went to Yerkes Primate Center. It was on lockdown! It was pretty amazing, they have over 3,200 primates. They are giving most of them aids but it was still really neat. We had lunch with a lab that does a lot of business with us but I was shy so Emma talked most of the time. After that we went to the Aquarium... I must admit, I was a little disappointed. I mean it is supposed to be the biggest in the world but it didn't feel that way. Chatt's felt much bigger. I did see a Beluga Whale though and get to touch a shark. I want a shark skin couch. Anyway after the Aquarium we decided we wanted junk food and attempted to go to Hard Rock Cafe (gag, I know) but it was reserved for a party so we ended up at Dungaroos or some strange place. The food and service sucked. Atl is kinda a bummer place to be if you didn't have good company. After that we walked around Centennial Park and watched a Jazz band play for "Wednesday WindDown". It was pretty amazing, the bass was soooo groovy. I danced for the few minutes we saw before it was over. If only we had seen the whole show! Needless to say we were a few of the only people without color in the crowd. It was very fun! Now I am in my hotel room about to work out for the second time today. One more month before I am in a bathing suit, yikes.

BTW, I am mad at Dolly for letting American Idol perform her songs. What was she thinking? Come on Dolly!!!!

pay back time

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 02:09:35 GMT

I have been mean to love in various ways. I am alone in every aspect. I am sure someone will stumble across this and smile. I have no friends and very little family. I have disappointed everyone (minus my family) and most importantly myself. Why couldn't I just pick one and be happy? They all seemed to love me so much? What am I searching for? Why am I all of a sudden a shy girl that prefers to not talk to anyone? Why does everything feel so forced. I feel like I put so much effort into everything. Will I ever get to relax again?

I wonder with my new self if I will ever move away from North Alabama? I am afraid if I move I will be lonely and not just the normal lonely but the kind that turns you to antidepressants. Then I will not be happy. What am I looking for? Who am I looking for? What keeps going wrong?!

I need to learn to be content alone. As a child I was. I should learn to do it again.

And to think, all of this emotion came from attending a wedding. How selfish am I? I am happy for Abria and Mel, they seem perfect together. I am however sad for myself. What happen to my charm and appeal? Where did all of that go? No one will ever approach me anymore. I know I am not mean and I smile. I think I look approachable. I don't understand.

I am going to finish my book and let it take me to my former life. I believe I was Jewish once.

what i did and didn't do today

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 04:23:32 GMT

Last night I picked out a beautiful outfit for today...let me tell about it. I bought a new white dress at Forever 21, it has a flower on the left side, sleeveless, and made out of a silky but matte finish material. I also bought a bright red coat from Forever 21, it has the big buttons and is a wool like material. I decide to put a gray turtleneck under the dress, seeing it is cold and all, then wear black tights, and lastly my favorite gray boots. I chose my jewelry very carefully and decided on a necklace that had a pink heart in the middle and two silver ones on either side. I got out my black pearls, it helped the tights, and black watch. Lastly, to add a touch of Gwen, i placed a pink lace slip just barely visible under the bottom of the white dress. Let me tell you, I felt like ME in this outfit. It was nice to see me in the mirror and feel normal in the not so normal way.

I woke up this morning, put on jeans, a black shirt, the boots, and the red coat. Why put all that effort into nothing? why feel like me and dress to the nines with no one to notice? So I didn't. I was in normal jeans work wear. No one noticed the red coat, minus one lady. Abria noticed my heart earrings and necklace. That was it. I went to Ambers, ate junk food and watched a terrible movie. Don't get me wrong, I had much rather spend my Valentines with her than most people in this world. I was just sad I didn't get to wear my outfit and feel noticed and pretty.

I also bought you a valentimes day present. I have no idea why, I will never give it to you. I find myself doing things like that at the most inopportune times. Silly me. As cheesy as it is, you are the song I know... thank you Hawthorne Heights (yes please puke now).

I half expected my dad to call today...he didn't. Oh, on a bright note; yesterday Coriamber received an anonymous flower on her desk and I proclaimed how stupid it was because she was married and I won't get a flower! Jimmy walked by at this time and said "Kim, do you want me to bring you a flower?" And I said "YES, it's not fair". Low and behold, he actually brought me a carnation claiming to be a man of his word. No ideas here though, we aren't compatible, he has asked me and every other girl his age in our workplace out. One of "those" if you know what I mean. Still though, it was a nice gesture and at least I didn't leave the day empty handed. Cindy, a nice lady at work, also brought me a card and candy... so did a girl named Hayley. I suppose all and all it wasn't too bad. It's just a tough day because I can remember almost all valentines days, not birthdays, not christmas, but vday...yes. No need to divulge in those memories. Its 1014 for goodness sake! I must go to bed. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. It will be nice to have a weekend off!!!!!

SLC almost the city for me

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 05:28:11 GMT

i really like it here. those mountains are fab, i can hardly believe them. they sneak up from you only from one side. i almost feel like they follow me like they are out to get me. like in the movies, someone is inside the garbage can following some person and every time the person turns around the can is the same distance behind everytime. yeah, that is my take on it.

the capitol building is beautiful. but it's a big,huge,warm,empty building and a homeless man is sitting outside. he was playing the harmonica, i am a sucker for it. i wanted to put him in my pocket and take him home. poor old guy. this is the mormon state, why is there a single homeless person here? i don't understand it at all. i gotta do something to help. it is just burning really.

i was watching the jazz play thinking about the homeless guy and his dog outside the building. i would venture to say people forgot about him before they were 10 feet away. i just can't do it. i can't forget those people. i can forget the commercials about what my penny a day will do and everything else but not those that cannot afford a roof over their head. i know some people put themselves in the position but it's just something no one deserves. even criminals have shelter, food, and the basic needs of life. i also can't handle old people being in this condition, they have paid their dues for "this country". i want a career path based on helping these conditions... i wish i had a million dollars. i wish i could walk up to someone and say here is your free pass. here is a house, here is a car, here is a job and this is your turn again.

i am not sure that rant belonged in this post because i want to say how much fun i have had. amber, my new co worker, is pretty cool. i didn't know about her till this trip but we get along just fine. it has been great to see justin, poor thing has not had a visitor the whole time he has been here and that counts coming home from iraq twice. i cant help but hold a grudge against his parents for not being here when he came home. he has been excited to show me around and i am happy i could be here for it. he showed me his base and the machines he works on. it looks pretty complicated. he hasnt told his family that he resigned. after hearing his reasoning about actually liking his job, i wasn't upset. however, he has to go back to iraq again in may. i thought the airforce didn't have to do that as often but this is his thrid trip. well one of them was volunteer to keep a coworker that was expecting his first child from having to go. so i guess only twice by force. anywho, it's been great to see his world. my job is good for something.

i dont like to complain about my job on here bc it is engraved in my mind at all times so no need to write it down but it's not going so great. today was very slow at the tradeshow...hardly any potential clients. such a waste of money and time for our company. plus i know amber is watching me to report back to mwg folks about how much i know. i am being so shy because jeff, this big mouthed sales rep for us, is stealing the show. i cant fight with someone for attention from a customer, seems pointless. he is one of those that likes to hear himself talk. oh well, that is IT, not saying another word.

i am ready to be home, i miss my bed and time zone. all this traveling has put me off kilter so to say and things just don't feel right... however it has provided perspective. i am going to read through a book that will tell me what career fits me. i know a lot of those things are bogus but i am hoping for the best. i gotta decide by september, hopefully earlier but doubtful... what i am doing with me.

i need to get in bed, well to sleep anyway.

oh oh suppose you'll never know....

2007

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 02:42:45 GMT

1sts

* Plane Trip
* Time to see the Capitol
* Time to drink in front of my family
* Trip to White Water
* "Triple play" **wink wink** Amber!
* Trip to Europe
* Real Job
* Degree before 23!
* Functional digital camera
* Camp out at Circuit City for this Lap Top
* 5 month span with no kisses or affection since I was 16
* Time moving back into my mom's place
* Feeling completely anti social
* Crush on a 42 year old man (completely innocent, i swear)
* Time to work over 40 hours, held down 2 jobs (Pottery Barn and Operon)
* Feeling that I partially control where I want to live in the future
* International experience (szeretlek magyar)
* Time to see Willie Nelson
* Meeting one of my "people" Kari Byron!
* and last bikini wax, ouch!!!

2nds

Tim Returns after a hiatus
Feeling less than adequate because of the male sex (jeremy)
Cruise to the bahamas

Other

Breaking up with the longest relationship since high school, still feeling the aftershock

Telling my beloved Aunt Jewel and Paw Paw Buddy goodbye

Haven't seen my grandfather in a year now

Haven't talked to my dad since July (before my trip)

Mom really is sick, I am still denying it

Letting Barry go, no lingering friendship or "what ifs" left from something I learned so much and lost so much

Watching a friend lose a parent and feeling terrified

Lost 15 pounds this year, I actually held the lose weight thing from New Years 07

Letting go of the life I had lived for 2 years, and by that I mean not determining someones worth by their music preference, style of clothing, or philosophies

I lost a lot of "friends" this year. I guess you consider them friends. I haven't really heard from anyone since I moved but I don't feel great despair.

REALLY having my feelings hurt at a close friend (Ash)

Realizing that distance doesn't break up some relationships, Missy

Finally seeing a good movie for 07- Juno!

2008 Wishes

To feel free, really free... to possess the ability to say whatever I want to say and not have to hide or answer to anything/anyone

I am my own person, me. . . flaws and imperfections and I need to understand that and accept it

Figure out what path I am going to chose as far as love, education, and career goes

Go to the Beach, not a cruise, just a beach and lay there for hours. Read until my eyes fall out and laugh the night away.

Get back on track with reading. Sadly the last book I read was Dracula and I finished that in October. Working 60 hours a week really turns a life into a strict routine. Sleep, work, eat, repeat.

I need to stop being such a negative nancy, people like positive polly not negative nancy.

Visit a big city, Chicago, San Fran, New York... if only for a weekend.

Have the ability to help the fam out some financially

P.S. This presidential race is making me nervous. Obama rubs me the wrong way, Edwards doesn't have a chance... I am fairly okay with Clinton and would chose McCain out of the Republicans. Am I going to stay up to see the results... probably (i need the sleep though)

my birthday... a little late

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 03:32:19 GMT

My birthday was fantabulous. All the people that really matter wished me nice birthday wishes and I of course received presents from my family and friends :). All my work peeps gave me forty bucks. My mom and step dad got me some new balance shoes i had been begging for since august :). Bro got me a back pack for my new lap top (which i am using now, i suck at typing on it so far), a tree, and birds. Amber gave me a book about Schultz that will be oh so interesting and a pretty coat! Hmmmm, I think that is about it.

Mom cooked me my requested birthday meal, potato soup and pineapple cake :). I really couldn't have asked for a better birthday.

The work christmas parties this last week were very fun...minus the encounter after the one Saturday night. I will never forget that so I have no real need to write it down. Just as a key reminder... people really can be rich bastards. The people that you see on tv that have no more depth than cars, big houses, and expensive wine selections really do exist. I always thought it was an over exateration but it's not. Anyway, I will never drive a fancy car or care about things like that. It is just not in me to even covet those things. I think it is a waste of money and soul to live that way. Don't get me wrong, I know some very nice wealthy people... I guess that is why I thought the stereotypical ones did not exist.

Anywho, enough of that... My company recently merged with another company. I hate to be negative but I feel as if they have just placed two failing companies together to form a larger failing company. Management didn't change, nothing changed... we just acquired more assets to screw up and people to disapoint. Oh well, I can't say too much. I am really lucky to have the job I have, the work is easy and I am paid pretty okay for my age/experience. This is a good resume builder and learning experience. However, I am not using anything I learned in college and I hate that. I want to do market research. I eventually want a job that I do not deal with any customers of the company I work for. Going back to school is definitely going to happen, I just need to decide for what. Graphic design seems appealing and could possibly land me in a good situation. Then again, masters in marketing seems nice. MBA focus in marketing seems hard and frustrating. I need to step away from business i think. It just isn't me. Now that I have one degree just to have one I want one that really places me in a job that doesn't feel like work. If I do not have to work at PB next Thurs I am going to dinner with one of my old professors and another friend. I may just call into PB, it is important I keep my connections to people with real advice open.

This is the longest post ever I think...then again, it is my personal live journal. Thus the reason I only have a few friends on here. I still think it is great that I have the power to write subliminal messages. efil a teg.

Going to bed now. Work at both jobs tomorrow. I think I am quitting the 11th of January at Pottery Barn. I am sick of working all the time. I still haven't had time to even configure my computer how I want it!

strange

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 21:41:14 GMT

Okay, so this crazy day doesn't end. This is why I hadn't checked my myspace or facebook in almost a month. The crazies come out.

Anyone remember when I posted last year about an anonymous message from someone on myspace telling me how great I was? Well he replied, almost a year later! Here it is, start from the bottom and read your way up:

Secret Agent Block User

myspace.com/sirscuddlesshitsalot_ttmr Date:
18/11/2007 Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject:
RE: hello.......... p.s...................
Body:

should have refered you in my last e:mail to the e:mail i had sent before below as this has been so long ago...
this is the first time i have seen your profile picture, or just your face in nearly a year, and you are still as pretty as you always were...
God Bless, and take care
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: just Kim
Date: Jan 13, 2007 2:43 PM

Is this a porn site? Or a joke?

If not then thank you. Wish I knew who you were, or at least had a hint. Not even sure what town you are from.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: s
Date: 13/01/2007

i just wanted to tell you how absolutely beautiful i think you are... you don't know me, but i have seen you many times. i find your face to be super pleasant, and have thought of you many times. i don't ask for any response, as i am asured i probably won't get one, but i have wanted to tell you this numerous times.
we are not close, nor are we what you would call friends, just aquaintances. you would never look at me in that way, but i have often fancied you from far away. i remember the first time i saw you, your face blew me away.
i am not one to let things build up inside of me without saying something, but i am also not one to let myself be brought into the light.
i am no stalker so nothing to be worried about, just an admirer of you, and the person i found you to possibly be in a couple of brief conversations... so don't generalize, i could be anyone you know...
a man will be uber lucky if they get you in their arms. you truly are a beautiful creature....... and highly desired however you might not feel so at times...
you are one woman i would almost give anything to get to know, and also the same person i would shy away from, from the fear of you tearing me apart. i think you are highly sought after by many men, and i hope the right one achieves you......... you deserve greatness......

goodbye

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=87098585

creepy!

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 20:59:59 GMT

Barry's gf added me as a friend on LJ. I guess to monitor my public posts on lj. Creepy , creepy , creepy! Don't get me wrong, I have looked at Brad's ex gf's lj's and myspaces but I never added any of them.

just to make this clear... since I know now that you are reading

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 20:31:06 GMT

Hello everyone. I wasn't going to do this but I have sat here and thought about this too long and am now quite mad. So I receive a message today (actually sent the 13th) on my facebook from Barry's girlfriend Jessica. If you know me at all you know who Barry is. So just for all of you to know my concern's and how mad I am here are the messages that went down between us:

Jessica Lankford

9:28am November 13th
Report MessageI have never met you... but I'm sure you know who I am. I certainly know who you are. I know that you and Barry have had a long and tumultuous history together. I understand that when you are with someone you inherit their baggage... past relationships, fears, etc. I have accepted that you were a part of Barry's life.
Now... you need to accept that you are no longer together. Barry and I are together. I know how you used to communicate through livejournal.... make posts that were directed toward each other without specific contact. I know you leave subtle hints like, "I miss you"... I don't appreciate that at all. In fact, it's very rude of you to try and move in on someone else's relationship. I want you to stop doing that... out of respect for Barry and for our relationship... I know what you are trying to do. You want Barry to pine for you as he has done in the past. You don't want him... but you don't want to let him go. You have to let him go. He doesn't belong to you anymore. Basically, I'm asking you not to have any contact with him. He won't have contact with you.

Sincerely,
Jessica Lankford Kimberly Moore

Today at 2:01pm
Jessica,

I am sorry if you think that I have contacted him. I honestly have not since August or September. The comments on my live journal about "I miss you" are toward my ex bf Brad. He and I dated for about a year and a half and this time of the year really makes me miss him. I haven't sent any subtle hints to him on livejournal either. Actually I removed him from my friends some time ago.

I am happy he is happy. Also, I am looking at my livejournal posts and trying to figure out which one could be about him. Since you sent this on the 13th I am assuming you are talking about this line that I posted in my lj on the 12th that reads this: " By the way, I miss you. . . still. Even though we have been harsh to each other without being harsh or direct. I hope your thanksgiving turns out okay even though your family hasn't really been together as well. I wish we could talk, just talk about anything other than us. Like we used to. I'm sorry for every injustice that I served you. I wish I could just chill out and be normal. I think I am doing better but probably from force instead of choice." This is 100% about Brad, his parents were having a rough time. Anyway, I apologize for the insecurities I have caused you. I know all about them, I have been guilty of reading my bfs ex gfs live journals, myspaces, etc... I assure you, I have let him go. I actually think it is quite rude of you to jump to conclusions since you know nothing about me and my life now. If you wanted to know if I have contacted him and the last thing I said to him through internet connection or otherwise, I suggest you ask him.

Kindest Regards,
Kim

And the last contact I had with him, I actually found it in my sent messages on facebook. It reads this:

Yay!
Between Barry Bonner and You
Kimberly Moore

5:54pm August 23rd
Hey Barry,

I haven't heard from you in forever... I sent you a message on myspace and tried to call three times. I see you are dating that cute blonde girl and I am happy for you!!! Do you like Chattanooga? I hope all is well!

Kim

And to make the record clear, last time I saw him was in late June or July... hang on and I will verify...okay, it was 6/23/07... found a receipt in a bag of flip flops he forgot at my house. We talked about nothing really, he left the next morning and I haven't heard from him since. Just to make things clear for everyone that is watching me...

a time for everything

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 19:00:46 GMT

I assume that this is a good time of the year to die? Now, before you judge me to be a morbid miss, please let me explain. This time last year my next door neighbor and my grandfather passed away. My great-aunt Jewel passed away yesterday. To be honest, it hasn't really hit me yet. I suppose it won't until thanksgiving. We usually go to my aunt Renie and then to her house. And again on christmas. I need to remember her so I will write it down. We would always go to Jewel's on christmas and she would always have a porcelain doll for me, up until I was 19. Then she bought me picture frames and such, but it just wasn't the same as the doll. Granted I have no clue what to do with all these dolls but it is nice to have. It's something that was tradition. The dolls were always pretty and she would explain something specific she liked about them, such as the name or the dress. She usually bought me dark hair and dark eyed dolls to match me. Her son was mentally disabled and always bought me collectors cards for batman, buffy, etc... She was my mothers, mothers, sister. Thus making her my great aunt. My mom was pretty upset about it.

You would think with all of this happening my Aunt (mom's sister) would try to forget about her dislike of Tim so we could have Thanksgiving together, as we have since I was born. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I am torn as to where I should spend thanksgiving. I think I would like to spend it at work, but we are closed. I may spend it in bed. I need the rest. This second job is really taking my energy. I didn't have a day off last week. I worked 60 hours. I am physically and mentally exhausted from all that has been going on. I need an off day to sleep and watch tv and wash clothes.

By the way, I miss you. . . still. Even though we have been harsh to each other without being harsh or direct. I hope your thanksgiving turns out okay even though your family hasn't really been together as well. I wish we could talk, just talk about anything other than us. Like we used to. I'm sorry for every injustice that I served you. I wish I could just chill out and be normal. I think I am doing better but probably from force instead of choice.

are you talking to me?

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 19:57:36 GMT

Yes, I am asking if that was toward me? And I am asking over live journal because if it was I am responding the same way you did. I am tired of trying! I wanted to be friends so bad and you wouldn't do it. I finally just had to stop hurting over it and let it go. I couldn't have you in plain sight. I had to find a way to make it harder on myself. So yes, if you were talking to me then you get this. If you weren't then it is just my egotistical mind thinking life is always about me. I've been to Frankfurt!

Maybe I should live here

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 02:21:39 GMT

American Cities That Best Fit You:

60% Boston

60% Chicago

60% San Diego

55% Honolulu

55% New York City

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

and now i fight

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 18:18:37 GMT

I still want you to fight for me but that isn't happening. I am the one fighting and losing. Damn this time of the year, hay bales and pumpkins and Ernest scared stupid.

Blue Bird

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 21:06:05 GMT

I have had a Rosebuds album forever and just now really listened to it. It is great, I want the new one. Maybe for christmas. Speaking of christmas, I know what I want. A new tennis racket, tennis shoes, The Dinosaurs season 1 and 2, and a few cds. I am happy I can tell my family when they ask me :). Amber and I are going to do something very different for christmas this year. Hahaha. I have bought one present already for my Step dad and know one more thing to buy.

Hopefully I will get a part time job to work during the holiday season, I don't need to spend any of my money because I am paying off that student loan when the first one is due in February.

If all goes well, I will be headed to London in January. Talk about expensive, yet another reason I need a second job.

I am off to DC again this week. However, I am not looking forward to it. It will be more like work and less like fun. I have seen the sights, I want to go to H&M while I am there but I am not sure that is a good idea since I am trying to save money. But I don't know if I will ever have another chance to go within the next year!

Bad Dream

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 17:09:54 GMT

Last night I had a terrible dream. One that you tell people but skip the details because you are too afraid. Maybe I can write it:

My brother and I were driving, I think to Huntsville, and we came up on a bad wreck. We were one of the first people there. My brother actually saw it happen but I was not paying attention. I remember him screaming "that car just flipped". When we got out to view the wreckage, it was three cars and they were blocking the road. My brother told me not to look at the car in the center of the road but it was too late. It was turned on its side and there was a body laying there mangled and torn. It reminded me when you see really really bad road kill and look away. There was a girl beside that body that wasn't beat up too badly. I noticed the truck to my right and saw it flipped on its side opposite of the car in the road. There was a man hanging out of the drivers seat by his seat belt. It was wrapped around his body somehow, he was unconscious. I remember checking to make sure it wasn't wrapped around his neck and yelled at some other passers by to cut him lose. I then went to the car in the middle with girl and mangled body. The girl was awake and the body was her mother. She said to us, "she is just sleeping, she always gets tired after lunch". She then started yelling at her mom to wake up but the mom said, "I am too tired, I cant". When I woke up I realized thinking girl was me. It was horrible, I couldn't sleep. I am shaking just typing this. That's all.

Catch A Tiger by the Toe

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 00:40:39 GMT

I thought of five words that best describe me today and they were all negative. Here goes:

woah

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 18:44:54 GMT

So it has been a really long time since I posted on here. I thought I should so I am. I am pretty much loving my life right now. Yes, I live at home again. Yes, I have an hour commute to work daily. However, I don't feel like my home is "home", I know it is just temporary. I am not sure what state (country) I will be living in a year from now. I used to say state, but I am going all out, I am going to even say country. I am tired of Alabama, it is very exciting to know that it isn't permanant. If all goes well, I graduate in August. I hope everything goes ok.

Only 15 days, oh gosh I have so much to do!

Home?

Fri, 11 May 2007 17:54:56 GMT

So I am back from my trip. It was pretty amazing even though it was only 3 days. The plane ride was pretty fantastic but pretty lonely. The ride from DC to Huntsville was better because I saw the Sun set and then later lightning...the beauty made me forget no one was sitting beside me. So I want to travel, it's going to be a lonely thing at times... I think it's worth it. I definately think I was born to be in the city. Even if I do travel alone I will be able to make friends. There are tons of people at other booths around my age. Jeremy and I met one guy we hung out with from Boston. He was pretty cool. Since everyone has an outgoing personality in the field it should be pretty easy.

I am so sleepy, I don't want to be at work today. I have missed out on my weekly dose of "alone time" because of work. Hopefully tonight after the mother daughter banquet I will get my time. I love my mom, I am happy that her church picked her for "mother of the year". I think she will enjoy that.

So one more week and I am off to the Bahamas. Hopefully I will come back rejuvenated. I would do it again, I would go back to 04 and I would do it again...just to put that out there. However, I would do things differently after that.

So home is where the heart is... right? Well I don't know where my heart is, I seem to have misplaced it. Anyone seen it lately? I honestly haven't. Karma will kick my ass, I know this. Just waiting on it to finish lining up.

Are my dreams coming true?

Sun, 06 May 2007 22:26:24 GMT

Here is the update. I started my "big girl job" about 6 weeks ago. So far things are going great! I have always wanted a job that travels. As of now I won't travel that much but I am starting to travel some. I leave this Tuesday for DC. I am going to a trade show... I am very excited about this and pretty nervous. You know...I've never been on a airplane before! So this should be a fun experience. I come back for a week and then I am off for vacation. Bahama's here I come! Yeah, so I promised I would never go on a cruise again after what happened last time. . .I am over it. I shouldn't let one event (no matter how life changing it was) stop me from enjoying the wonderful world of Carnival Cruises. Right? Right. Plus I am not going on the Fantasy, it's some other ship that I can't remember the name. I think next month I will go to Emory University to visit with our outside sales rep Jeremy. He told me I should start traveling more with him...I hope this all works out. If all goes well I will be outta Alabama in a year. I am crossing my fingers. If not, Biotech is a pretty good industry to be in and I should be able to find a job at some other company after a year of experience.

I miss my friends. I must say that. I never see my roomate anymore. I miss Jenna, I miss Danielle, Brad, Jake, just everyone in Florence. I am excited that I have made quite a few new friends from work. People there are pretty great.

I graduate in August now instead of May. It's a bummer but I am looking at it on the bright side... it will give me more time to save $$$ to pay back my student loans :)! Look at me, I am positive. HA. Well to anyone who has read through this whole thing I hope you are well. I am sure I haven't been so great at communicating but those things happen when you work 40 hours.

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 05:33:03 GMT

it will be alright. we are ok.